Try to tell

It's not easy to hold everything inside just because you have no one. All this time I always try just keep everything inside and try think positively about my feeling inside. But, more I think positively and more I try to keep it. More I can't hold it by myself. Sometimes I think it's better to tell anyone else but it makes no sense at all. Everyone who I told about my problem or my story always give me suggestion, the best suggestion which they can give. I don't know where the wrong is but it just so hard for me to fix my fault. It's hard to be a better me. Maybe I'm too stupid to understand my friend's suggestion. I'm too stupid to understand how to fix all my fault and don't do my fault anymore in my future. What I always do in the future is the mistake which I had done in the past. Oh God, help me to learn not do my fault anymore. Why it seems so hard. I beg you...

Keep All Inside

It's not because I don't wanna help my partner. It's not because I don't wanna finish my duty. Moreover because I hate you. It's totally wrong. I deny to finish this job because I don't like how my partner treat me. I don't like how my partner can be careless of her duty. Is it my duty to finish this job right now? I think it's not only my duty because we had divided our job and one who should do this job is my partner. Not me. But why is my partner so careless about her job right now? She never ask me about the progress of our project. I had tried to help her when she could not do that job but it doesn't mean if one who should finish this job is me. If she can't finish this job quickly or if she can't continue this job so why didn't ask me to finish it? If she asked me in the first then I'll finish that job sincerely. I'm sorry to my friend because I've been disappointment. I never mean to do it but I couldn't hold my emotion anymore. I couldn't hold it. But I still should keep it inside. I couldn't tell anyone else because I've no one. HAHA poor me. What poor teenage I am...

Heart Attack

I don't know how this feeling come to me. I don't know when this feeling start attack me. I don't know why I could feel this feeling. But behind all of that questions which I couldn't answer, I believe, it isn't a mistake if I fall in love with you. You have been my mood boaster. You have been my mood breaker too. I always desire I'll be closer to you someday. Yeah... Someday... And I don't know when It will come true. I just can be your secret admirer for your past, present and maybe future. I love you sincerely...